Being a Mom

It's 8:15pm on Sunday night and I am snuggled up between my nice clean white sheets, wearing my new pajamas, have had my 2nd shower of the day, and have a nice cool glass of water by my side.

Blogging in bed: a no-no, I know, however this is uncommon and I just had to get these thoughts out before sleep overcomes me this evening.

I love being a mom

It's as simple as that

I knew I'd love it from the moment I saw the 'Yes +' and 'Pregnant' and double pink lines and plus sign (yes I took a variety of pregnancy tests on September 14,2010.

It was confirmed when we saw a tiny little LC curled up in the womb, laying still, with a little flicker of a heartbeat at 7 weeks 4 days

And again when we heard that little flicker of a heartbeat, sounding like a herd of horses coming at us through the dopplar a few weeks later

And yet again when his little feet kicked me,  his hands and arms waving all around from the inside

And yet again, when I heard "baby is out" and felt that pull and lifting and heard that first sweet cry of my dear little 7lb 8oz baby LC

And as tears slid down my eyes and I kept saying "oh my God, oh my God" as J gently said "Look E, look!" and I turned my head (the only part of me that wasn't numb and could actually move), and first laid eyes on my sweet baby, and saw my husband as a father, for the first time in my life.

With every night that went with a few less hours of sleep

Comes and earlier morning

A nap or two during the day

A little human alarm clock, waking us all up between 5:45 and 6:30am every. single. day.

With every night that we are up, we are thankful, we are blessed

There is a little boy who needs us

For comfort, for cuddles, to just put paci back in

To rub his back, stroke his hair, tell him we understand him, that it is going to be okay, we promise

We promised to love one another until death parted us

And we promise to love our sweet baby for forever and ever

I have never felt a stronger love than I do now for my husband as a man, and as a father

For my son, who has grown in leaps and bounds from a 7lb 8oz newborn, to a 24lb 11oz 1 year old

For having the strength, stamina, courage and support to be the best Mommy I can be

I love being a mom

For all the simple moments like a little boy crawling into my lap and pointing to a book, then quietly clasping his hands together as we begin to read, reaching out his finger to touch the furry baby animals when we get to that page

For the intense moments, like when he rolled off the changing table into my arms, and when he fell face first out of the high chair and got a fat lip (and fortunately nothing else).

For the fearful moments, of talking to the on call doctor on a cold January morning, holding my sweet baby in the glider, listening to his breaths, slow and congested, fill my ears, and taking him to the ER

For the serene moments, when I go check on him before bed, and see him resting peacefully, butt up in the air, knees and feet tucked under, paci in his mouth, soft snores coming across his lips

For the amazing moments, like taking him swimming by myself and watching him put his face in the water without the blink of an eye

For every magazine article that goes unread, for every book that lays on my bedside table with the bookmark stuck in it, for every dust bunny and ball of cat hair that rolls across the carpet, on the bed, on the coffee table, for every load of laundry that goes undone, and for every dish that goes unwashed

I have my sweet baby boy and I couldn't be happier to be his momma.