A lil kink in ze ole plans

Guess we should get used to things not going as planned, and we got our first taste on October 12, 2010.

October 12, 2010
I called my doctor on Monday and spoke with a nurse about the spotting (had some light spotting over the weekend, tried not to freak out, but if you know me, you know I was maybe a tad nervous) – like I said, it wasn’t much but when I spoke with a nurse on Thursday about feeling ‘gross’ and remedies for that, she mentioned that if I ever have any spotting or bleeding, to let them know. So I was only doing as I was told. My Dr’s nurse called me back and I went in for a pregnancy blood test yesterday. It came back at 78,000 which is really high (a good sign, definitely pregnant), however because of the spotting (which has since subsided, as of today, and like I said wasn’t much to begin with but noticeable to me), and the high number on my blood test, my Dr has ordered an ultrasound for tomorrow – 6 days earlier than originally scheduled – was supposed to be Tuesday 10/19 so J and I have been counting down to that day, til today around 4 when I called and said, guess what, we get to see our baby tomorrow! Coincidentally, tomorrow is October 13, which in my little life, is a big day, it is the date that I came home from the hospital when I was a baby. I am hoping that the day proves to be just as lucky for us. I can’t help but be nervous and excited. Right now though, definitely more nervous. As a natural worrier and over-researcher, I’ve been doing both today. I fear an ectopic pregnancy, or no heartbeat. Bad things to fear, and certainly not good when you are supposed to be positive and happy and excited about pregnancy. Which I am, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help but worry about my little one until I see him/her with my own eyes and see the flicker of the wee heartbeat and know that baby is okay. I will be like this my whole life with this baby I’m sure, and it may come back to smack me in the face but so be it. Hopefully J can balance me out – so far he’s done an outstanding job being super positive, rubbing my belly and telling me that our little baby is juuust fine in there. Getting comfy, knocking down walls and putting up his/her favorite posters  That makes me smile! So keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow, that the morning goes fast, and that 1:15 comes and we see a beautiful baby and the most beloved sound/sight on Earth, his/her beating heart.