Things I want to do

Vs things I have to do. Oh how the line blurs. As j and I forage forth in our journey in our marriage as a couple, as parents, and as individuals, we are learning to prioritize the "have to" and the "want to" what is one to one of us us the other to the other.

The hard part is knowing the consequences between the two but then making sure to get some if those "want tos" in the mix ... To just stay balanced, to be better parents, a stronger couple, a better individual.

My want to list is growing and along with that is the guilt that life is so short and my time with my son is so limited that how dare I want to go to a coffee shop and sip on a pumpkin spice latte and read my book for 2 hours on a weekend day. Or go for a walk in the park in the early morning with just me and my music.

Instead I settle for waking up an hour early on my only day off in the weekend to make myself a cup of coffee and read in my pajamas as the morning light makes its way into the apartment.

I grab a 30 minute nap on the couch during lc's nap and forgo make up and drying my hair in favor of sitting down to lunch before the baby wakes up .

I spend my weekday off running errands folding laundry going to the eye dr and clamoring everything into one day to be done early so I can pick up our sweet toddler to get a little extra time in before dinner bath books n bed.

The life of a mom, of a working mom, of a wife, a friend, a daughter.

I guess for this moment in time, this is how it is, and I should make peace with it. But I feel so pulled.

This too shall pass.