The time I got a new pump and cried

I have been renting the hospital breast pump for the past 2 months, and let me tell you, there is a reason that it is hospital grade.

It is quiet, it gets a full booby's worth of milk out in 10 minutes or less like record time is about 5 minutes and that's with the suction on a comfortable level - because we're pumping a boob, not drying our hair, it's not a race - we're talking 3 or 4 ozs!

I actually think I may have had a love affair with my pump these past two months. Shhh, don't tell J!

I mean we have a stock pile of about 28 bags of milk in our freezer ranging from 2 to 6 ounces each! In fact our freezer currently consists of frozen milk and ice cream. Mmm I know you're jealous lol.

And then the day came when we had to stop extending our rental and purchase on on our own (much more cost effective and can use it longer & for multiple kids).

So before we returned our rental, I decided it would be a good idea to try out my new one, you know in case I freaked out...can u tell where this is going...

Sidenote: I researched pumps, stuck with the brand that I knew and loved, talked to the lactation department at the hospital, and got the a-okay that we were purchasing a top of the line (one level below hospital grade) pump. So I was pleased with the purchase.

Skip to a couple of nights ago when after dinner and a slightly fussy LC, I left J to clean up, my Mom to tend to LC (because really, who doesn't love making him smile!) to try out the new pump.

Got it all set up, turned it on .... low / no suction ... mess with it some more, fix flanges, switch ports, close / open ports, turn it off and on, mess with the suction intensities & stimulation / let down button.

Call out for J, he comes in and tries to put the faceplate off and on again to make sure that's secure. Starts pumping.

Pump one side (all due to a cracked nipple by the way which I later learned if I could stand it I could have been nursing him on that side the whole time instead of pumping it for 6 feedings, sigh). hindsight is 20/20.

Pump for 10 minutes, don't get much (in my opinion)...take the flange off and the whole top of my boob is hard as a rock...um missed some ducts!?

My Mom comes in with a fussy/hungry LC...I break down in tears, J comes in to see what the ruckus is about since I was fine when he left.

Mommy meltdown ensues. I'm crying saying the pump doesn't work, I can't get my milk out, I'm going to get plugged ducts and mastitis and LC will no longer be able to breastfeed (my main fear), LC is hungry and I can't provide his food, at this point LC and I are both crying.

My Mom tells me to relax, J gets me a warm washcloth to massage and try to get the milk to let down. I try that for a nanosecond.

I give in and latch LC on despite the crack and he nurses soft and gentle, sensing his Mommy is tense and frustrated.

And the booby is soft as a pillow after a mere 5 minutes.

And the next day, I tried the pump again, in the afternoon, when I was not all keyed up, and ya know what...it worked like a dream...10 minutes later I had 4 ounces of milk that my Mom fed to LC later that afternoon.

Sometimes a little frustration and freaking out won't get you very far, Sigh, but you live and learn. And feed your baby to the best of your ability. We will persevere.

Breathe in, breathe out...relax....