Motherhood that follows...

And "they" (whoever they really are), don't prepare you for what it's really like ... really, really like ... physically ... mentally ... emotionally to be a mother. The sole food provider, caretaker between the hours of 7am and 6pm Monday through Friday, and for one hour each night (so far).

Physically - in my case, the breastfeeding, I'm not gonna lie, it is still sore, almost 8 weeks in, but I'm sticking with it. I guess that's just how it is for me. They get very full and I pump, and that's okay because I know that I'm providing what I feel is best for my baby and I'm so grateful that I am able to do such a thing.

Wrists...I pick up LC all the time, moving him here and there, up and down stairs to and from the car and carseat, etc...and it takes a toll on my wrists. Or has as of late. So much so that I've succumbed to a $25 copay and visit to the doctor who suggested Tylenol arthritis cream, wrist splints, and a heating pad for comfort. But you know...I wouldn't have it other way.

Again "they" say, a mother would endure anything for her child (I always flash to the image of the woman picking up a car over her head to get her kid out)...and I would..I would a thousand times over.

I see him smile and giggle and look at me with those bright piercing (turning brown) eyes, the sore nipples vanish, and the wrist pain vanishes, and the circles under my eyes...vanish...(although seriously he only gets up once a night and I kind of enjoy our little hour of bonding time in the middle of the night when all is quiet and even the cats are asleep.)

And I know...this is exactly how it is supposed to be.

During the day there is sometimes a sense of loneliness, of isolation from the outside world (thank goodness for Skype thankyouverymuch) ...partially because it is a million and one degrees outside with a heat index of a billion and one and a heat advisory on a daily basis which leaves going outside a no-no. And even trekking from the car and back breaking out a sweat (oh maybe that's how I lost those 2 extra lbs this week!)

In those times I wonder...am I doing this right ... is this what people do on maternity leave? Am I making the most of my time off from work?

And I have learned, slowly, but surely, and after talking to some friends and family who reassure me, that yes, I"m doing it 100% right.

LC is literally happy as a clam, he smiles and giggles and babbles on a daily basis. He rolled over at 1 month. And he overall loves his little life with us :)

And did I mention how my heart swells when he looks up at me so intently, emanating his love for his mommy just through his eyes!

And it's okay that I have now become addicted to the Lifetime show 'Dance Moms' and record it and watch it when he naps.

And that I love tweeting and blogging and checking my email, and sharing, and that's okay too...in fact the blogging ... I love that the most ... keeps me sane and keeps everyone updated (maybe more than they ever wanted to be in fact).

And by the way...LC might have dirt under his fingernails....and that's okay too.

Yeah, I'll get that out tonight, who am I kidding :)

This motherhood thing is an adjustment, and I learn more everyday, and face more challenges, but I wouldn't have asked for anything different.

Our baby boy is the best thing that has ever happened to both J and I.